It’s so interesting that when we talk of peer pressure we often use it in the context of teenage hood. But I would like to argue that if you think peer pressure is a thing of the past, well think again my friend!
The thing is, when we mature into adulthood peer pressure is a bit different then how we experienced it as teenagers. When we were teenagers our friends really knew how to persuade us into doing things and we would succumb because of the overwhelming pressure to fit in.
When we become more crystallized in our different lives in adulthood the pressure to succumb is more a battle of ideologies.
This was sparked as I recalled various conversations I have had with different people and some of my friends. If I am honest also, I have been in situations where I didn’t truly stand up for an idea I knew deep in my core was right and was what I believed in.
Sometimes we are caught in those moments where you the only one in a gathering who shares a particular viewpoint and the people amidst make it seem like their viewpoint/s are progressive and yours is primitive or stupid. Truth is as individuals we generally subscribe to different value systems and in some cases we may divert to similar value systems. But what I have found is that when your ideas are not part of the norm, you are considered “Judgemental”, “Primitive”, or even “Closed-minded” in your thinking.
I will give an example, some of my friends and I embarked on a journey of purity and we have made statements such as we have chosen to wait again and we will give our bodies to our future spouses. What surprised me is the contestations this statement received from women.
Women would argue that this is a traditionalist or religious mentality and that as women we ought to rewrite the requirements of history and make certain ideologies socially relevant for our time. We are told that as women we should own our sexuality. I have no objection to this statement but I love the point Sarah Jakes made when she said “a lot of women have become Masters in sexuality but Novices in intimacy”. And she captured the very essence of my heart. I am not looking for a quick in and out sexual experience…I want deep intimacy that translates into worshiping God through my body with my husband.
I think I am coming to a point where I really don’t care what anyone thinks about the choices I have chosen to make. I will not compromise my heart in order to fit into society’s socially approved or relevant boxes. If I am to be called a religious zealot or be misunderstood, then so be it. After all history teaches us that it is the revolutionaries and the non-conformists that change the world.
I often echo that in a world full of norms I want to be an outlier. It comes as no surprise that when you become an outlier in your standards you will make others uncomfortable. As people we can put ourselves under pressure to impress the next person by trying too hard. We “lie” and compromise our hearts because we fear that telling the truth may make others feel uncomfortable.
Even when it comes to my dreams some people have so easily expressed their opinion about how life doesn’t work the way I think. Well let me say this, If you want to limit yourself based on what you see and have been exposed to…by all means go ahead…but please don’t stand in my way as I dare to dream the impossible dream!
My enjoy life tip is this: Stand! I am not saying stand still and not be progressive but I am emphasizing that Stand for that which you know is right, stand for your dreams. Your dream is not for everyone but for someone and that someone is YOU! So please even if you standing alone…please Stand!