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The art of being still…(Bonus edition)

Written by Bongeka
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Clarity about my purpose and most of the ideas I have thought off and have made a reality were birth from a place of being still. We find ourselves in an interesting period in our Generation, where there is an ever increased focus on people talking about purpose. A lot of people want to find out what their purpose in this world is and my question to you dear friend is, have you practised the art of being still?

What does it mean to be still? It means finding time in our busy lives, to be by ourselves and just silent. People do this differently, I prefer waking up early to pray, read and mediate on the word of the Lord. I find when I do this, I reflect a lot about my life and I allow God to speak to my heart, offering me direction.

In one of my still moments, I was also reading the book of Genesis 11:12.There is an interesting story that made me realise something and further clarified this thing about purpose.We are introduced to a few characters namely, Abram, Sarai, Haran, Lot and Nahor. Now Lot’s father Haran had died, so Lot ended up living with his grandfather; Abram and Sarai Abram’s wife. In the context of our modern society, we probably will ask ourselves why didn’t Lot just find his own place, but remember people in the olden days had more of a communal conviction and it was normal for one to live with relatives even though they were old enough to live on their own.

Now, what was interesting to me is that Lot could have either chosen to stay with Nahor his other father’s brother or stay in the land of Haran, where his grandfather had died. But he decided to follow Abram, when Abram decided to go to another land with his wife. Could it be that Abram had exhibited such great fatherly love to him that he followed him wherever he went?  Lot would not have followed him, if Abram was not treating him right. What I learned from this story is that Abram who God later changed his name to Abraham to mean “the father of many nations” was purposed to be a father. Abraham’s purpose was to be a father and bring forth a nation. Look at the first thing we hear God say to him in Genesis 12:2, “I will make you into a great nation”.So I have reason to believe that his purpose/destiny i.e. to be a father to nations, began or was established even before God called him and changed his name.

I started thinking about my own life; I know that one of the things which are a major part of my purpose is to be involved in humanitarian/ socio-economic development work. I know I am meant to be a communicator and share ground breaking research and solutions around some of the socio-economic issues we face in the world.

In my still time, I was just reflecting on the time when I was in primary school and I began to enter speech contests; joined the debating club and in high school I did a lot of biology talks. As I was reflecting I realised that I always chose topics that had some sort humanitarian/human rights/social development inclination. To recall just a few, I remember in primary school I did a speech on racism and xenophobia.

In high school, I did research on human cloning and presented that. My teachers were so impressed that I represented my schools both in primary and high schools in regional and district competitions.  In varsity, I did a lot of study on labour and organisational studies and movements which have underpinnings of human rights. So what am I trying to say? That our destiny/purpose is like that exercise of connecting the dots one-by-one, until an image that makes sense is formed. Even before your purpose is crystal clear to you,the dots started connecting slowly. Are you wondering, what is my purpose? Well my friend, begin to trace back your life and look at things that have been a common feature and ask God and trust me the time you spend practising the art of being still, the clearer your purpose becomes.

Wisdom,

Come out from amongst them…

Written by Bongeka
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We have all heard the idiom “one rotten potato in bag can make the rest also rotten”; well this saying became a reality to me this past week. I was in the kitchen and there was a bad scent that I could smell coming from the food cupboard. When I checked, there were two rotten potatoes and those potatoes made the rest go bad. As I took them out and was cleaning the area, I starting reflecting on how in many ways, as human beings, we are affected by the “rotten-potatoes”, rather people we allow to enter our lives.

The reality is, who you hang around with is a reflection of your character and whether you like it or not this will affect your future. I think another idiom that best describes this is “Birds of a feather flock Together”.

This is an interesting and powerful metaphor for life. If there is one negative person amongst a group of friends, does it mean they are all negative? The answer is no, but be warned as the negativity can quickly spread. Don’t stay loyal to relationships that are not loyal to your progress…come out from amongst them!

My enjoy life tip is this – 2017 has just commenced and I know at the beginning of the year, we all have this great energy and we make a lot of resolutions. Can I plead and say, may the company you keep be amongst the things that you consider this year. Come out from people and environments that rob you of your peace and progress. Surround yourself with people who build you…choose wisely!

Life,

Stop! and think…

Written by Bongeka
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Inspiration is all around us, we just have to ensure we are alert so that we are able to appreciate it.

I was getting ready to iron this morning and behind me, I realized my family had put up the 2017 Calendar. As I gazed at the calendar, my eyes were taken by the quotation next to the big 2017 inscription. The quotation read:

“Action without vision is only passing time, vision without action is merely day dreaming, but vision with action can change the world.” Nelson Mandela.

I thought to myself…well this is such an interesting and powerful piece of wisdom. Often we get told to pursue greatness, whether that’s through succeeding in business, or a career or an academic venture. But, how many of us actually stop and think about why we wake up and do the things we do. We have become such a Go! Go! Generation…but are we reflective about our daily activities?

I was reading an interesting article yesterday and the journalist had interviewed an influential public figure. One of the questions the journalist posed to this person was, “if you had to reflect on your life and success, what stands out for you the most?” the public figure’s answer came as a bit of a shock and concern to me. The public figure paused for a moment and mentioned that though she had done lots of things and is a busy person; they have never taken a time to reflect. But, I love that she said in 2017 she wants to do more reflection and not just pass time doing lots of activities in a day without fully reflecting how each activity links up to her purpose.

Our generation is plagued with stress, depression, etc. I think it’s because we live in such a world of information overload, but we lack knowledge and wisdom in terms of how to live simple and relevant lives.

If I had, to be honest also, sometimes I have said and done things because I heard and saw others do that without thinking for myself. We have been raised to just do and most of us are living life and not thinking. We are not a reflective generation.

I think even as we begin 2017, it’s still a great time for us to just take a moment and reflect on why we do the things we do; even for the things, we have committed to do this year. Have we sat and thoroughly thought about how they add value to our purposes?

Growing

Back to Basics…

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I am on a journey of realizing that a “de-clustered” life can have tremendous benefits for one’s well-being. This journey was further entrenched by one of the project’s I was working on at work. Now the nature of this project was a bit peculiar; in that usually when corporate’s initiate projects they focus on introducing new systems, new behaviors, new processes and the aim is a complete transformation from the way things are currently done. This project had a simple mandate; and that mandate was let’s do the “right” things we did when starting this business unit.

When our business unit started, the chief architects had an amazing and unique model that worked and turned the organisation into a great success. But somehow, over the years as the business grew with rapid change demands from the business world and in trying to balance making profit and remaining relevant a lot of “undesirable” practices sneaked in.

We found ourselves in a space where people rattled with the “very thing” that was core to us. We acknowledge that we live in a world of fast pace change; but we also recognize that one cannot embrace new changes if we have not clarified the very core of who we are. The project’s objective was a plight of going back to basics and reinforcing processes and behaviors aligned to our core.

This work really touched my life in that I realized that in my own personal journey, I had rattled with my core. I abandoned a lot of basics that had initially made me successful and adopted “foreign” techniques which looked way better equipped to deal with an “ideal modern” woman. But actually, these may have worked for others, but, if I had to truly be honest with myself, they were not working for me. They were not yielding the results I desired. You may ask “what are these basics?” Well allow me to share, they are very simple and to others they may even seem too cliche.

I recall that I would always talk to God about literally everything and I lived my life simply believing that all things will work out for my good. Whether I was addressing a crowd or one person I always spoke from my heart as opposed to speaking from my head. When you speak from your head you often speak intellect and what you think people around you want to hear and sometimes you are not always authentic. I didn’t censor myself too much by making sure that I use bombastic words, I was simple and genuine.

When I did something I was numb to the applause of those around me. My joy & motive was simply passion and love. I really enjoyed every moment with every person in my life. I’m in a space where I am reinforcing most of these basics again in my life.

What are your basics? We all have simple habits that we adopted that made us successful at the things we love doing. I think as we begin 2017 we need to rethink certain basics in our lives.  To me, the concept of back to basics is going back to a place of sharpening the saw, a place of refueling when life gets too hectic and a place of reaffirmation about our purposes.

Life,

The real Christmas message…

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I was at our Cape Town offices last week and the place was lit with Christmas decorations. There was so much hype in the office as people were putting up these decorations. As I stood there, looking around, I realised that there was something wrong with this picture.

I realised that we have been sold a Western notion of Christmas. I mean, look at the décor you find when you walking at the mall or when you in the shops and all you see is snow; snow men; elves; reindeers etc. I mean really, in South Africa December is one of our hottest months. Christmas also has nothing to do with elves and reindeers.

But you know what, I really don’t blame people who put up these Christmas decors, because I realise that actually, some people don’t really understand the real story behind Christmas.

Hence, it is the responsibility of those of us who know, to share the truth. Well my friends I want to begin with these words taken from the book of the prophet Isaiah:

“For a child is born to us, a son is given to us. The government will rest on his shoulders and he will be called Wonderful Counsellor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, and Prince of peace. His government and its peace will never end.” (Isaiah 9:6-7).

In the book of John it reads “For this is how God loved the world: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life. God sent his son into the world not to judge the world, but to save the world through him.” (John 3:16)

Ladies and Gentlemen, the real Christmas message is this – Jesus Christ was sent to the world because God loved us very much. The Lord’s mandate was to restore us back to himself through the birth; death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. Why? Because God’s original intention for mankind was for us to rule and have absolute dominion on this earth. With sin creeping in, we lost that privilege and only God (Christ) could establish that again.

So as we celebrate this time, remember Christmas is the glorious birthday of the King of Kings.

World Affairs,

The paradox of remembrance…

Written by Bongeka
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I am going through a very uncomfortable, but interesting phase in my life. I have been praying about something’s to a point, where sometimes I continually pose questions of whether the things I am praying for will ever come to pass.

I often find myself confronted with two interesting realities. One part of me strongly says “Bongeka, forget the past mistakes which translated into bad relationship choices; bad financial decisions; lost opportunities; etc. But another part of me also strongly says; never forget how you prayed and worked hard for certain things and today you have attained those things.

There are often battles that rage within all of us…have you ever wondered why it’s so difficult to forget the bad decisions of our past, but, we often seem to easily forget our past triumph’s; past successes and God’s faithfulness.

Life is a fascinating journey…we have to understand that forgetting our past mistakes, in order to take charge of our future is important, but also increasingly important is being able to recall situations in our past that seemed really difficult and we didn’t know how we were going to get out, but a breakthrough came. As I was feeling down, I remembered situations which I thought were very difficult and I thought I would never pull through, but you know what, I did, and all glory goes to God for that.

My enjoy life tip is this – commit to having a wall of remembrance, put this up in a space you see often. And every time you don’t see a way out of a difficult situation; just look at all the things you prayed for; hoped for; and worked hard for and find encouragement that even in the impossible situation you currently in, all things will eventually work out for your good.

Critical thinking

Have you clarified the WHY?

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The terrible news of the passing away of one of South Africa’s most loved gospel artist, Sipho Ncwane, has left my heart shattered. The passing away of this young man has left South Africa and the rest of Africa in great mourning.

Social media and mass media at large have been flooded with messages and pictures of condolences. The more I think about this loss, the more I am filled with so many questions. I ask but “why did we have to lose him so soon? Had he accomplished everything he wanted to do? Had he really lived with the Why of his existence being fully clarified and fulfilled?”

In my moment of reflection, I recalled an interesting catch-up I had with my mentor earlier on and he posed a very good question to me. I was going on and on about the plans for the next phase of my life and he says to me; “Bongeka, I hear you but Why are you doing all this; Why are you so passionate about taking this opportunity?”

He then narrated to me, that as he drove to work that morning he posed the same question to himself. He began to really wonder and ask why he is a General Manager. And why he would want to be Managing Director as that seemed like the next in line position to occupy. He asked himself if this was really what he wanted and if this was part of his purpose?

He gave me an interesting analogy; he said that each day when I chose to live clarifying the “why” of my existence, is like building a house. He mentioned that the foundation has been laid already, and that foundation is the many years of my formal and informal education; my professional and personal experiences and my walk with the Lord.

This next phase of my life is just laying bricks on another corner of the house. I could be right now in a season where I have laid the bricks half way, and the house is close to completion. Every day when I live with the understanding of the “why” and taking action towards fulfilling the “why” of my existence, I am closer to finishing that house.

I am glad to say the “why” of my existence has become clearer over the years as I have sought to live a purpose driven life. I am so at peace because, I understand “why” I am on this earth for. This feeling is both liberating and overwhelming. The latter ensures that I wake up every day knowing that I cannot afford to be idle because, I have an important part to play in my generation.

Sometimes we can be so busy just being busy but, not really understanding how every activity that we embark on plays a significant role in shaping the “why” of our existence. Have you clarified the why of your existence?

 

Life,

The appreciation effect…

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Those who are close to me, can, in some way testify that I am a daddy’s girl to the core.  There are so many things I love about my father…he is a really great man. My dad is really funny and I think he is also the only person in this world who thinks I am perfect. I always enjoy calling my dad or him calling me, and you know he always answers the call with the following words “Hello my lovely daughter”. Sometimes I don’t even take those words into account because they have become such a part of our conversations.

But not too long ago, I was going through one of those moments in life where you just feel like you are all alone. Now don’t get me wrong, I know I have God, but I also fundamentally believe we were built for companionship. As I was in that moment of feeling down the words “my lovely daughter” came to mind and heart, I wish I could fully express how refreshing this was for my soul. It’s true when the proverb says “an anxious heart weighs a man down but a kind word cheers him up”…

We live in a world where we are surrounded by people constantly complaining. You know, I realised something that almost every day almost everywhere we find ourselves around people who are just complaining. If it’s not about the government; it’s about their jobs; or their families or the rising petrol price, the list is endless. Imagine what would happen if we complained less and just started creating an atmosphere of appreciation.

Of recent I met up for drinks with a very dear friend of mine. I looked deeply into his eyes as he deposited more and more nuggets of wisdom to my life. I started to think of how much he has impacted my life and how much he ignites a fire in me to fulfil purpose. He not only ignites it, but, he holds my hand through the entire process and ensures that it keeps burning.

I started thinking of all my close friends and how incredible they are in their own unique ways. I am humbled that in the pages of Makhosazane Bongeka Mhlongo’s life story, these heroes and sheroes feature significantly.

I started thinking about my mum & dad; my siblings; and some of my cousins and I was just in awe of God, that as he authored my life, he decided that these would be the characters that I would share the same DNA with.

In a simple definition, appreciation is “recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something”

My enjoy life tip is this: Can you find someone or something each day to just appreciate?

Growing

Becoming a Steward…

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A friend of mine recently borrowed me something of theirs, and you could swear I had gold or a precious ruby stone. I was so amazed at how I took care of it and I actually laughed at myself, and wondered why I don’t always handle things in my own life that way.

I reflected on this and I began to think of how differently life would be if we had the mind-set of a steward. Now in our modern times, we don’t often understand what it means to be a steward because our society is highly individualistic. It is unlike the olden days; where stewardship was a part and parcel of the society. In a simple definition… Stewardship is: “…the position and duties of a steward, a person who acts as the surrogate of another or others, especially by managing property, financial affairs, an estate, etc.”

OR

 …”the responsible overseeing and protection of something considered worth caring for and preserving.”  http://www.dictionary.com/browse/stewardship.

In a nutshell, Stewardship is recognizing that we are simply administrators or managers of everything before us, and actually God owns everything, we are just acting on his behalf.

Perhaps one of the reasons we falter in modern times, in terms of how we handle our gifts; skills; relationships; finances; businesses; careers; leadership roles; etc. is that we have not come to the understanding that, what we have is not really ours but it is “borrowed”.

I believe if we had the “stewardship consciousness” we will handle things a little bit better. People who have a mentality that they are simply vessels or servants never abuse power or resources.

My enjoy life tip is this: Think about your own life, are you living with a stewardship consciousness?

 

Life,

Interesting lessons from my travel diary…

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My buddies and I recently viajou “travelled” to Mozambique to witness the marriage union of one of our dearest friend’s. The journey was so amazing that I had some really great moments of reflection based on the experiences I encountered. I thought it would be great to just express some of those amazing learnings below:

Number 1, Hospitality is such a great gift. Mozambique is a predominately Portuguese speaking country so majority of my friend’s family does not speak much English. But their hospitality was able to cut through and penetrate the language barrier. They were so hospitable that it felt like I was home away from home. I have been to many relatives houses and visited many people whom we speak the same language but some of them have never treated me like that family did. This left me yearning to be more hospitable in my own home.

Secondly, intolerance is the greatest enemy to seeing a united Africa. As tourists we decided to explore a bit of Maputo. As we were heading to one of the neighbouring beaches our taxi was stopped by some of the local policemen. They uttered something in Portuguese to our driver and next thing they asked two of my friend’s for their passports. Unfortunately my friends had left their passports at the house we were staying at. The policemen got really angry and demanded that my friends follow them to the police station. The rest of us pleaded with them and showed them our passports and begged that they don’t take them to the police station. We stepped out of the taxi and one of the policeman got so upset that he uttered in Portuguese that we should get back inside the taxi as this was not South Africa. The other policeman spoke a bit of broken Zulu and said that they were going to make life difficult for us because Mozambicans were being ill-treated in South Africa. We just went into prayer and all I can say is thank God a response came quick…but unfortunately the driver asked for money from us and had to bribe them not to take us to the police station. I came to a painful realisation of just how divided Africa really is.

Thirdly, what separate us are just languages and borders. As we entered Mozambique we were marvelled at how green the land was. I remember uttering words to my friend next to me and saying this feels just like another part of South Africa to me. She then went on to utter the words “my sister it’s just language and borders that separates us but at the end of the day we are all the same”…I really loved that statement and it’s so true, the earth/land in itself is the same everywhere but its human beings that have decided through certain world systems that we are different.

Fourthly, Gratitude is life giving. As we proceeded with the journey and I looked at the beautiful green landscape, I also saw some really saddening things. I saw houses which looked like match boxes and the most horrible dirt filled slums and was heart shattered at the idea that people lived in these conditions. I saw some really bad Infrastructure and bad roads and I realised that people are really poor out there. One of the things I really appreciate about travelling is that it opens up your eyes to the reality of the bigger world around you. It also leaves you full of gratitude knowing that there are so many things to be grateful for in your own country.

Finally, the selfie revolution has taken over! I was so shocked and amused as I gazed at the world around me from South Africa to Mozambique. I noticed pockets of people posing in front of the camera in both countries. There was a particular group that stood out for me; they were dressed in a church uniform and both the men and the women gathered together. One particular gentleman even went to the extent of lifting his 2 litre coca cola bottle and posing with it as if the audiences who would be looking at this picture would admire it as they would if he was posing next to a Bentley, I couldn’t help but just laugh so much at this sight…

After these five main reflections, I now understand when Saint Augustine said, “The world is a book, and those who do not travel read only a page”.

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