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Singleness is not a waiting room to get hitched!(Married)

Written by Bongeka
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Recently I was hanging with one of my girlfriends and of course the “man talk” came up… We were going on and on about the kind of men we would want in our lives when our singleness journey come to an end. We had some interesting similarities and differences. When I got home though I started asking myself honestly, why should the singleness journey end? There is such an expectation from society and it comes at different angles that when you single you not complete and that you just waiting for someone to sweep you of your feet if you are a woman or someone to fulfill your fantasies if you are a man.

I started thinking about how many people always seem to be eagerly awaiting their perfect “better half” as it’s commonly known. I’ve heard so many women expressing a list of things they need in this “better half”. You hear them say, “I need a man who’s successful, good looking, romantic, great sense of humour, God fearing, etc. the list is exhaustive. I’ve heard men say, “I need a woman who “can cook, be hot, respect me, God-fearing, do what I need her to do, love me etc.” the list is exhaustive here also.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with wanting these things from someone you want to do life with. But I do think we should really zoom into people feeling that until they meet people with these qualities, they feel a sense of not being complete.

When someone says I will only be completely happy with life until I find my “better half”, you already saying that you are not complete as a woman/man and that someone else possesses what you need to complete you.

What you bring to a relationship should not be your “half” but your completion.

Here’s the truth my friend- no human being can and will ever complete you. Only God can complete a person.

I really love this definition of what it means to be Single… “Single means that you are alone but not lonely. SINGLENESS is the Most IMPORTANT Asset whether your are Married or Single” – Dr. Myles Munroe

My enjoy life tip is this: love being single and enjoy it. Love every moment and develop yourself to become a better woman/man. Your “singleness” journey will and should never end even when you do get hitched (married). Singleness is about you being a complete and whole person. You not just living life because you are anticipating a “spouse” but you living life because you realize that you have a greater God given purpose and by pursing that you will make this world a better place…

Love,

Speak up my friend, oh but please, SPEAK LIFE!

Written by Bongeka
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My brother and I were watching this interesting celebrity lifestyle magazine show that targets the lifestyles of the rich and famous.

In this week’s show they were interviewing a very well-known radio Dj and business man. To be honest, before I listened to the guy’s interview I had already put my judgemental cap on. I had always viewed the guy’s over confidence as arrogance …but this particular interview ignited something in me and I can safely say I have gained new respect for the brother.

In fact the more I listened to his interview the more I was inspired by him and really got an opportunity to “know” his side. He didn’t just rise to fame but he has faced so many struggles that most of us face.

What really got me sitting on the edge of my sofa and excited was what he uttered in the midst of his interview. He mentioned that during the times when he was still trying to build his name and was working for free, he would speak life over his situation. Despite his situation at the time he continued to believe in himself and continued to speak positive words. I can safely say that today he is one of the most respected and successful media moguls of our time.

I sat there in amazement and realised that indeed it is true when the scripture says “Death and life are in the power of the tongue”-Proverbs 18:21.

Why is this so true? It’s true because most of the time you speak what you believe. What you believe also leads to the kind of actions you take and ultimately shapes who you become.

In the midst of the interview the TV went mute because of some technical glitch. My brother and I got a bit irritated as we felt like we were missing out on so much more of his wisdom and It really hit me that WORDS have power.

Even history teaches us that some of the most celebrated humans used words change the course of their destinies and forged societal transformation.

Who can forget the great “I have a dream speech” by Dr Martin Luther King Jr… he stood up and spoke of a better America, one where all Americans will enjoy equal rights. We can testify that his speech was a great catalyst to the laws that were passed between 1964 and 1965 which ultimately ensure that “his dream” of a free and equal society came to pass.

The great Nelson Mandela spoke during the 1964 Rivonia trial and said, “During my lifetime I have dedicated myself to this struggle of the African people. I have fought against white domination, and I have fought against black domination. I have cherished the ideal of a democratic and free society in which all persons live together in harmony and with equal opportunities. It is an ideal which I hope to live for and to achieve. But if needs be, it is an ideal for which I am prepared to die.”

I am particularly more intrigued by the bold words as those were a great catalyst for the 1994 democratic elections. We witnessed an amazing moment in history were South Africans who were previously marginalised had a right to vote for the first time.

My enjoy life tip is this: Be very careful about what you say about yourself and others when you open your mouth. Even if you not living the life you want now…start by creating it with your mouth…My friend speak your dreams into existence…create your own reality by the words you speak.

Words, ,